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Best of Macaroni Dad

'Cause Dads Love Macaroni, Too!

August 1, 2014

Women are from where…?

I am a dude. We often speak in short sentences and if what we need to say can be conveyed in a grunt or contorted facial expression we will most often opt for something simple with very few words. I had a phone conversation with a friend today for about 20 minutes and we talked about absolutely nothing. There was laughing, there was crying and there was at least one comparison story of fatherly drama, but in the end we virtually forgot every story, every joke and ridiculous word, then  hung up and continued on our day. When I talk to my buddy over the phone we seem to talk for hours and then it’s over, almost like the phone conversation never happened. Often there is talk of football, travel, supermodels, chocolate chip cookies, and helicopter skiing and the words are often hollow and generic making no sense and having no definitive point.  I often find myself strangely fulfilled, but equally perplexed that we can clamber on for so long without reaching an end or developing a conclusion. If there is such thing as wasted oxygen and air space, we are a prime example of how it is a terrible thing to lose one’s mind. We are guys...this is what we do and we are good at it.

My wife on the other hand is rather boisterous and often flails about wildly with her arms and legs while she is communicating on the phone. This isn’t an angry form of communication either, but it is usually the way she carries on with friends, relatives and loved ones. I have also discovered that sometimes my wife actually really wants to know about my day. She asks me how my day went and then pauses as if I am to provide a realistic and well thought out answer. This to me is strange. In my mind I have just had another day. It felt like a long day and I am glad the day is over, but recounting my day and telling my wife the tale is stupefying. Why on earth would my wife want to know the details and tribulations of how I finally came to be here at the dinner table this evening?

I have also discovered that as a guy, when my wife tells me about her day, I, as many guys do, often drift off into a land of beer and daisies. When I return from my distant land and regain focus on the words my wife is saying, I will too often have the tell tale sign of a ‘beer and daisy’ smirk on my face. This is usually about the same time my wife realizes I have been daydreaming and asks me what I am grinning about and why I wasn’t listening. After a brief interchange about why I was smiling and how I really am paying attention, I find myself compelled to give my wife a solution for whatever it was she was just talking to me about. This is usually my way of making it up to my wife for a brief journey into my la-la land. In my mind, if I give my wife a solution, she will know that I was listening. We are guys, we solve problems - this is what we do.

Shortly thereafter, she advises me that she is not looking for an answer or a suggestion of how to approach her issue, but just wanted me to hear about her day. Again, as a guys, we are perplexed and cannot figure out why a woman would go into quite so much detail about the complexities she faces without wanting a solution. We slowly accept this reality although never fully grasping the concept, hug and/or snuggle for a while if required and then return to ESPN or XBOX.


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