January 24, 2014
Precious Slumber...
Mid-January in Florida is what comfy beds and bountiful covers were invented for. Okay it hasn’t been Connecticut or Colorado cold weather, but for our thin Florida blood, putting a foot on the cold tile at 55°F is reason enough to crawl back under the covers until the sun comes up. Maybe it stems from the fact that I haven’t heard the air conditioning unit kick on for 3 weeks and the electric bill must certainly be at a new record low. For me, creating the perfect combination of pillows and 11 blankets piled atop one another to harness the hot and steamy habitat where frogs and tropical birds could live quite comfortably is not only a skill, it’s also an art form. When pillows are properly fluffed, every blanket in the home is heaped high like a toasty pile of flour tortillas and the surrounding interior air holds steady at 59°F at 7 am in the morning you can almost feel yourself slip into a bear like hibernative- coma deep-sleep. Sound maker on....white noise fills the room...green grassy fields with Daisies and yellow fluffy Labradors bounding over the clouds... I am talking cheek to cheek, wide smile having, deep breathing, rapid-eye-movement, no-work happening on a Saturday sort of sleep that is conducive to regenerative years being added back onto one’s lifespan. Mmmmm-good!
At least that’s the way it should happen...but in reality it is something more like this...
Vampire wife is doing some sort of Macaroni duty at her desk until 3 or 4 am until she has apparently fallen out of her chair for the last time and fully agrees that is time to succumb to the sandman and get horizontal. She will brush teeth, either for the night before or the morning soon to be which is only a few hours away, put on house comfy-clothes and proceed to sweet sleep inducing habitat of her husband who is about to be rudely awakened from his innocent slumber. Although she won’t admit it, she secretly holds a grudge against her poor husband for embracing the joy of sleep and also having every blanket in the house, including the special furry one sent from her sister. The unsuspecting victim is often flogged with a pillow and on occasion pelted with kitchen utensils and high heeled shoes and is usually confused and clueless when the lights come on and the party is over. Soon poor MacDad will find himself bruised and battered with only a hand towel to cover up with, shivering on the floor, teeth chattering, curled up and in fetal position, harmless, loving, caring, cold and lonely, slipping into hypothermia while trying to maintain body heat and gently rest his bones for the long and stressful workday ahead.
In a bedroom not far away, MiniMac is thrashing and flailing about in her sleep as if she is running a marathon race of endless hurdles and smacking tigers with rubber spatulas. Although she is most agreeable and lovable in her moments of sleep, a quick kiss on her little forehead quickly reveals the rabid badger that resides within. Teeth grind together and broken incoherent sentences are spewed and spoken throughout the night about make believe puppies, mermaids, Wii games and important school things that happen in an 8 year old life. Although the rest is necessary for her little body to regenerate, grow, stay strong and fight off foreign invaders, she seems to fight every moment ...
It seems like only one of us in this house is a fan of the slumber....it used to be different around here, but I seem to be losing the battle...and the war.
