National Grandparents Day, September 8, is a time to celebrate and honor the important role grandparents’ play in today’s families. As an agency that serves families, the Children’s Services Council of St. Lucie County understands that not every family looks the same. Across the country, more than 2 million grandparents are providing for the bulk of their grandchildren’s needs. In the state of Florida almost 9% of our children are living with their grandparents. Locally, the Children’s Services Council of St. Lucie County works hard to ensure that regardless of how each family is structured, they have tools and resources to meet their needs.
For the Gardner family, the word “grandparents” has an extra special meaning. Marty and Joan Gardner are no strangers to caring for others. They built a beautiful life in Boca Raton where they raised their daughters, Gail and Heddy, and took care of Joan’s mother until her demise. Gail gave birth to her first child, Kaeleb, in 2002 much to the delight of his grandparents. Two years later, both daughters were pregnant simultaneously with Danyiella and Sierra.
Heddy and her husband experienced a lot of problems with drugs and unfortunately their problems only escalated with the birth of Danyiella. “When Danyiella was a baby, I didn’t have my life together, and I knew that giving my parents full custody of my daughter was the best option for her to thrive,” Heddy said. “Danyiella would be safe with them. I knew that they would never keep her from me and that I could play an active role in her life.” The Gardner’s have raised their granddaughter Danyiella since birth. From the moment they accepted responsibility for this new life, Joan and Marty poured their heart and soul into providing for every need and building a stable, safe home environment.
Their daughter Gail and her husband decided to move to Port Saint Lucie because of a job offering. The Gardner’s decided to retire to be with their grandchildren and moved to Port Saint Lucie where they bought a house for themselves and their grandchild, Danyiella. Little did they know that their retirement would soon include raising all three of their grandchildren, Kaeleb, Sierra, and Danyiella, and providing a home for their daughter, Heddy. “There was no question or hesitation when Marty and I were approached to take responsibility of raising our grandchildren,” stated Joan. “We knew that these children needed to be safe and live in a stable environment, something that they weren’t able to get from their parents.”
Kaeleb and Sierra came to live with their grandparents over one year ago. Their father died of a massive heart attack about five years ago. Their mother Gail, after suffering the loss, turned to drugs and eventually was evicted from her home. After struggling to be a parent and a provider, she decided it would be in the best interest of her children for them to live with their grandparents. “It’s definitely different this time around,” said Marty. “When we were raising our kids, it was all about work and paying bills. Now with our grandchildren, we get to enjoy them. If only we had more energy!”
Joan agreed, “We get to spoil them, and if our grandchildren hadn’t moved in with us, they would never get to do the majority of the extra-curricular activities they enjoy like going to the Boys & Girls Club. They just love going there, it’s a very well-run program.” Kaeleb, Sierra, and Danyiella enrolled in the 2013 Boys & Girls Club summer camp and continue to attend the after school sessions today. “The kids didn’t want to be here at all this summer. They just wanted to go to the Boys & Girls Club,” explained Marty. “Now that they are back in school, the kids come home, do their homework as fast as possible just so they can go back to be with their friends at the Boys & Girls Club.”
The Boys & Girls Clubs of America programs and services, promote and enhance the development of young people by instilling a sense of competence, usefulness, belonging and influence in a safe and fun environment. The programs and services are supported by membership and community outreach. Locally, the Boys & Girls Club is also funded by the Children’s Services Council of St. Lucie County.
“Since Danyiella has grown up with my parents, she’s the same headstrong, confident girl,” said Heddy of her daughter. “But Kaeleb and Sierra have really changed for the better. When they first moved in, both kids weren’t very affectionate and were very closed off. Over time they’ve opened up, now feel secure in their home and are more affectionate. Attending the Boys & Girls Club has only helped them to open up and become more confident in who they are.”
Joan added, “They are good children and we enjoy every moment of having them in our home. The Boys & Girls Club has only helped to instill the importance of education and open their imaginations to the opportunities that await them if they get good grades and work hard to be independent.”
“We want our grandchildren to have every opportunity to succeed in life,” said Marty. “Kaeleb’s college tuition is already paid for and we’ve almost paid for Sierra and Danyiella’s college education. School is important to their success in life and that’s what we are trying to teach them.”
As grandparents, the Gardner’s play a vital role in the lives of their grandchildren. They have gone above and beyond the traditional role as grandparents to become caregivers, improving the lives of their grandchildren and bestowing upon them their unconditional love. “We’ll never stop worrying about our children and grandchildren,” expressed Joan. “I’ll just have to live to 100 to make sure they are all Okay!”
The Children’s Services Council of St. Lucie County is an independent district established by voter referendum to fund children’s programs to improve the lives of children and families in our community. The Children’s Services Council partners with a total of more than 50 programs that reach more than 30,000 children annually. Those programs provide support to newborns and their parents, after-school activities to keep kids off the streets, and resources and tools to keep children safe from abuse and neglect.
